Back from Willits
So I went to the campout and now I'm back. These were my favorite moments:
- Taking a cold shower (it was very HOT) and then walking around naked in the sun to air-dry
- Having a conversation with my friend Ben's girlfriend who told me about some part-time job opportunities I might be interested in and who gave me some good logistical information regarding running one's own business
- Lying on a blanket underneath some trees, watching the spider webs glisten in the sun
- The dragonflies by the pond!
- Sleeping from 10pm to 6am while everybody else was partying
- Watching the morning sun walk up the orchards
- Having a conversation with my friend Erin's boyfriend about the brain, dimensions, and reality after asking him if he had any beliefs regarding the year 2012. Turns out that with the right person, the year 2012 is a great conversation starter.
- Being handed a plate with very yummy tofu scramble by Philip
- Taking another cold shower and then walking around naked in the sun to air-dry
- Being able to leave whenever the fuck I want because I drove by myself
After being in hot hot Mendocino county, I appreciate the cool cool San Francisco summer even more. How can anybody stand a hot summer?
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.: posted by Vera 
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Interesting turn of events
Two years ago I went to the Friends & Family campout and had a great time.
Last year I kind of wanted to go but didn't pay enough attention, and suddenly it was too late and all the tickets were sold out.
This year the same thing as last year was bound to happen, except that this year I paid even less attention and cared even less. But then today my friend and former co-worker Erin told me that she has some extra tickets. And a tent that I could borrow.
So it looks like I'm going to the campout this weekend. I don't really plan on partying. I am just looking forward to lounging around on the grass, reading, and talking to whomever decides to interrupt my reading.
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.: posted by Vera
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A reading in Boston
Before I left for Boston, I posted an ad on the Boston Craigslist, announcing that I was going to be available for psychic readings in Boston this week. Nobody responded to the ad until today. This morning I got an email from a man who said that he was interested in a reading. A couple of emails and a phone call later we agreed to meet in a public place at 6pm. We sat on a park bench and I did the reading. There was quite a bit of traffic noise, so it was a little more difficult than usual. Being hard on myself, I felt that some of the things I said were "cheesy" or "too obvious" or "applicable to anyone." But when we were done, he said "You said a lot of good things." He then pointed out a few things I had mentioned that were very true for him right now.
This was the second full hour reading that I have done, and both times I opened my eyes at the end to find the readee staring into the distance, thinking about the things I had just looked at for them. That moment is when I feel that I have been successful at doing the reading. If the readee is left deep in thought, I must have hit on something.
Oh, did I mention that I got paid? I got paid! People are starting to pay me! It's happening! Thank you, universe.
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.: posted by Vera
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Favorite places in Boston
Trident Booksellers and Cafe - I mentioned the other day that I had found a great bookstore within walking distance from my hotel. The night that I discovered it, I stayed there for a while to peruse and admire their inventory of metaphysical magazines and books. When I read my astrological forecast for the month of July in one of their spiritual journals, I had to laugh out loud several times because of how accurately it described what had happened to me in the month of July so far. I ended up buying a book and vowed to come back. This morning I went there for breakfast and Herbivore magazine. For breakfast I had their "morning energizer" - apple carrot parsley (!!!) juice - and pancakes with maple syrup and fresh blueberries and granola on top. I am normally not into breakfast that much, but that pancake-syrup-granola-blueberries combination was really really good and that apple-carrot-parsley(!!!) concoction was too. I think I am going to have breakfast there again on Friday.
Exhale - I went there for a yoga class tonight. I didn't really feel like doing exercise but I did feel like stretching, and after convincing myself all day that I would feel *so good* afterwards, I dragged myself over to the studio after work. The yoga class ended up being exactly what I needed. Before class the teacher asked all of us what our energy levels were. There were only five students, and we all had pretty low energy, so she decided to give us a very low energy yoga class. All we did was stretch! And boy did we stretch. I feel like my left hip is somewhere in Kansas right now. She also had us do some very interesting and relaxing poses involving cushions, blankets, and the wall. It was probably the most "cozy" yoga class I have ever taken. It was just cozy. The other cool thing about Exhale was that that they had a big box of razors and a big jar of Q-tips in the bathroom. Razors and Q-tips were the two things I didn't bring to Boston and wish I had, so I was able to shave my arm pits and clean out my ears after all. I love when that happens.
Oh, places. Places are great.
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.: posted by Vera
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Camera bummer
My camera broke today. I'm pretty sure that it's permanently hosed.
I'm not too upset about it because I had been thinking about buying a new camera for quite a while. The one I have is almost three years old. Now I don't have a choice: I *have* to buy a new camera. This is good news.
The bad news is that I won't have any pictures from my Boston trip. The few that I had taken so far, will be lost in the ether forever. Oh well. I'm not too upset about it if you aren't. It's been overcast here anyway.
Editor's Note: And I kind of like not having the pressure of having to take pictures right now. If my camera was still working, every time I saw something beautiful, I would wonder if I should take a picture. But now I don't have that option. I don't have a camera so I don't even have to think about it. It's kind of nice. I can just note the beautiful thing and move on.
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.: posted by Vera
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In Boston
I have arrived in Boston, for that spontaneous business trip I mentioned recently. Saturday, my last day in San Francisco, was surprisingly pleasant. I didn't do much but maybe that's exactly why. Everything just sort of worked out perfectly, and I enjoyed almost every single moment.
I
- did yoga and walked home
- took a shower
- read
- drove to the ATM and on the way back called a number on the side of a cab to have one take me to the airport the next day
- swung on the swings at South Park
- went home and walked to Hazel's Kitchen in my 'hood to get a yummy veggy sandwich
- walked home and ate the sandwich while looking at the city from my living-room window
- read some more
- went to my hair appointment with Laura, whom I have been going to for over two years
- talked to my boy on the phone
- had a Green Tea Frappuccino
- went to the office to pick up my laptop. I cannot believe how much I love being in that empty office. I don't know what it is. I stuck around and surfed the web just because I love being in that empty office so much.
- went home and read some more
- went back to the office because I had accidentally left my flight information printout in the printer (with my social security number on it) and to take some pictures of the empty office
- drove Taylor Street all the way up and Polk Street all the way down. Since I will be away from San Francisco for almost a week, I had to drive around it a little.
- went home and packed while listening to Coldplay
- read some more and went to sleep
And now I'm in Boston. My hotel is two blocks from bustling Newbury Street, which is why there are all kinds of essential places within walking distance: an Indian restaurant, a Thai restaurant, an organic food store, an awesome bookstore/coffee shop, a Trader Joe's, a Torrefazione (Torrefazione makes the best, creamiest, sweetest Chai EVER), an American Apparel store, etc. Since my hotel is right on Copley Square, there is a park right outside of its door. Parks are SO essential to me these days.
My room is on the 35th floor. The 35th floor is pretty high, and so I have an awesome view of downtown Boston, a body of water, and several bridges. I can see so many places from my window that I have literally been picking places to go right from my room: Oh look, there is a Wells Fargo ATM in case I need cash. Oh look, there is a CVS in case I need chapstick or whatever. Oh look, there is a Starbucks in case I decide I need another Green Tea Frappuccino.
I think I'm going to like it here.
Editor's Note: Unfortunately I can't see the moon from the hotel. The moon is full in two days but I won't be able to see it from my room. The window is facing the "wrong" direction.
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.: posted by Vera
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Lego pixel art
I made this recently. I would like to make more but it's sort of an expensive hobby.
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.: posted by Vera
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Hair trauma
I have this urge to speak radical truth. I want to let it all out and be clear. I don't want to put on a pretty or successful or brave face anymore. So I think it's time I let the internet know about a major source of trauma in my life.
When I was 17, I realized that when I was 14, I had had a 'fro and that now I didn't anymore. It seemed that I had lost a lot of hair. I started freaking out because if I was going to continue losing hair at that rate, I was going to be bald in a few years. My hair loss stabilized somewhat by the time I was 18. But at 22, after my boyfriend of four years had broken up with me, I started losing my hair again. Sometimes emotional loss manifests as hair loss. Again, I started freaking out because I thought that I was going to be bald within a year or so.
Well, it is seven years later and I'm still not bald. I don't think that I am going to be bald within a year anymore, but I do think there is a pretty good chance that I am bald by the age of 55. But maybe by then there will be a cure, medical or psychological.
The hair loss has caused heaps of stress and fear for me. At age 22, for example, I thought that I would never have sex again because nobody would want to have sex with a bald girl.
You might have heard me say that I hate my hair. The reason is that I still feel self-conscious about having thin hair. If you have seen me in the last five or so years, you might have noticed that I almost never wear my hair down. It's because I like to keep my hair strapped in, contained, close to my head. I want to hide how thin my hair is but I guess symbolically I am also trying to keep it from falling out by keeping it strapped in. That's how I feel safe.
So there. I have major hair trauma. In trying to accept myself the way I am, I have been trying to wear my hair down more often. And I usually get a lof of positive reactions, which surprises me every time. Almost every time I wear my hair down, there is at least one person will comment that they really like my hair THAT way. But it seems that no amount of compliments can ever make me feel fully at ease with my hair. I am working on that.
During my freakout at 22, I bought this shirt from Delia's that has a girl with afro puffs on it who is wearing a shirt with a broken heart on it, and below it it says "bummed." I call it my "bummed T-shirt." I always wear it when I'm bummed, and it ALWAYS makes me feel better. The girl on the shirt is so cute, I think. If a girl that cute is sad, how bad could it be to be sad? And my favorite part about her is that she seems to have a little bald spot. Really it's probably just where her hair is parted but it looks a little bit like a bald spot, doesn't it? If a girl with such cute afro puffs has a bald spot, how bad could it be to be bald? There are a lot of things about that girl on the shirt that always comfort me when I wear it.
Today I am wearing it because my boy is leaving today to go to Finland for three weeks. I am a little bit bummed.
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.: posted by Vera
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How cute are these?
I totally want some.
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.: posted by Vera
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