Home is where the moon is
Do you remember being young enough to think that if you stood on something tall enough, you would be able to touch the moon? I do. I distinctly remember having the following conversation with my mom, probably around age 5.
Me: Do you think that if I stood on the roof of our house, I could touch the moon?
My mom: No, the moon is too high up there.
Me: What about Papa?
My mom: No, Papa isn't tall enough either. The moon is really high up there.
Me: What if I stood on a ladder on the roof of our building?
My mom: No, you still wouldn't be able to reach the moon.
Me: What if I stood on a ladder on the tallest building in Nordwalde?
My mom: There isn't a building tall enough on this earth that would let you reach the moon. The moon is much farther away than you can imagine.
(An aside: Do you see where I get my poignant, unrelenting pragmatism from?)
My dad has always been fascinated by astronomy and planetary activities. When I was a child, if there was ever an eclipse, he would be the one to tell me. I'm sure he would have loved to see the total lunar eclipse last night. But according to an online source, most of Germany was covered in clouds last night, making it impossible to observe the red moon.
I, on the other hand, spent a cozy evening on my friend Diane's rooftop, from which I had a view of some palm trees, downtown SF, the Bay Bridge and an undeniably reddish full moon eclipse. It was pretty chilly but the sky was clear, and I was surrounded by nice people and munched on yummy treats.
When I found out this morning, that my parents were not able to see the eclipse due to the omnipresent German cloud cover, I felt really bad. My dad never had the opportunity to leave the terrible weather behind and move to a warmer climate like I did. But he fully supported me when that became my own life's biggest dream. I never would have been able to leave Germany, had it not been for my dad saying almost exactly nine years ago "If you really want to take your greencard and move to California, do it. We will support you in any way we can." In a way perhaps he is living vicariously through me and that may be better than nothing for him, but I still sometimes feel bad that I was able to do this while he wasn't, knowing that he has had a hyperactive wanderlust all his life.
And the thing is that I am eternally thankful for the fact that my parents are still right there where they always have been. They still live in the same house that I grew up in with the same phone number and the same neighbors and in the same small sleepy and cloudy town. It gives me great comfort to have that stability, even if it is so far away. The point is that it is there and my parents are there. So not only have my parents helped make it possible for me to fly away forever to the clear skies of California, but they have also provided indirect support and comfort by staying exactly where they are.
My parents' home is like a rock, and my parents rock because of it. But on a day like today where I know that due to geography, they missed out and I didn't, I feel guilty and would like to do something to make it up to them. Maybe writing these words and showing them to them will suffice.
So, the red moon. Did you see it? Long after the moon was no longer red this morning, it shone into my bedroom and woke me up. The full moon is in Taurus this month. I'm a Taurus. I have been quite electrified since yesterday.
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.: posted by Vera 
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Update, Vera style (I think Philo would agree)
Almost a week went by and I haven't told the Internet about anything that has been going on. I guess I have been really busy. Actually no, that's not true at all; I just haven't had anything worthwhile to write about. Actually, that's not quite true either but -
I don't want to tell you about the cause I went on a hunger strike for because it would make me look like a drama queen, and I don't want to look like a drama queen.
I could tell you that my roommate Joe left for China and Hong Kong for a month a few days ago and that he is going to keep a blog while he is over there, but he hasn't posted anything yet, so why would I send you the link?
I could tell you about the photo shoot I went to on Saturday for my threads designer friend's new website, but I look terribly constipated in some of the photos so I don't think I'm going to.
I could also tell you that I invited a cute boy to a party hoping to get some action, and that when we got there, a drunk girl that flung herself at him got all the action that was supposed to be for ME. But if I told you this, I would look whiny and pathetic, and plus, what if the boy discovers my blog and feels all awkward about what happened?
I could also tell you that my hometown has been awarded the 2004 award for "most livable city" in the world in its category (population 200,000 - 800, 000), but there hasn't been any English-speaking evidence of this, so that wouldn't be very interesting for the English-speaking Internet, which is clearly my blog's target market. So I can't write about that either.
And so, since everybody knows that writing about not writing is a major blogging faux-pas, I'm just not going to write at all for now.
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.: posted by Vera
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What the hell is email?
Do you remember the moment when you first came across the word email? I do. It was spring 1995, and I was sitting in the Frankfurt airport for five hours. I was on my way back home to my parents' house after visiting my then-boyfriend Brent in California for a few weeks. While I was waiting for my connecting flight to Düsseldorf, I read an American magazine, probably Mademoiselle or something similar. I remember several ads that mentioned something like "... or you can e-mail us at email@us.com." And yes, it was definitely e-mail and not email. I thought "What-mail?" I had never heard of email before and had no idea what it was. It was quite the mystery for me.
It looks like I was a little bit ahead of Jerry Seinfeld as my favorite episode ever* didn't air until late 1997:
[Setting: The Coffee shop]
(Notice: "TWO YEARS EARLIER" Jerry is sitting at a booth with Nina)
NINA: And they call it the World Wide Web. You can e-mail anyone!
JERRY: (Mesmerized) What are you, a scientist?!
NINA: Ah, I gotta go. (Gets up to leave)
JERRY: Ah.
NINA: It's great talkin'
JERRY: Great talkin' to you. (Nina leaves. To himself) What the hell is e-mail?
*I don't even want to start getting into why this is my favorite episode ever. I will save that for another post.
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.: posted by Vera
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Potrero Hill blog
I just found the coolest blog theme: potrerohill.blogspot.com: For your favorite hill-themed neighborhood. [For those of you just tuning in: Potrero Hill is where I live.] Unfortunately the latest post on there is over a year old. There is an email link on the site labeled "join the team," and I sent an email to it expressing interest in contributing, but the email bounced! I am so bummed. I would love to blog about Potrero Hill, but I don't think I could do it as a one-woman kind of project. This is why joining an existing blog would have been perfect. Oh well.
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.: posted by Vera
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Decompress and decompress some more
The box
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
The other day I was thinking how much I would like to go on a road trip and that I was over due for one. I also thought that I haven't been to LA in a while, and that it's really about time I went down there again.
Last Sunday a very green and pink me went to the Burning Man Decompression party as evidenced on Philo's site. A few days later I sent my friend Miranda a link to a picture that somebody took of us at Decompression. She wrote back asking if I wanted to cruise down (road trip!) to LA (LA!) with her and a few others this weekend for the LA Decompression and the breakbeat afterparty. I said sure! We're leaving after the Mad Hatter's Ball tonight.
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.: posted by Vera
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Did you know that
- the stain most commonly found on my clothes is toothpaste?
- that I wore (fake) pearl ear rings for at least the last eight years and that I just replaced them with blue star ear rings last weekend and that I can't believe I didn't make the switch seven years ago?
- that I once considered getting a tattoo of a ladybug and that I'm now leaning more towards a star?
- that a friend of mine has a tattoo of an alien on his shoulder because he used to be convinced that he was being abducted by aliens, which later turned out to be nothing but sleep paralysis, and that I get sleep paralysis too and think it's one of the scariest things ever?
- when I was 5 I had a terrible infection that left me completely paralyzed and in the hospital for nine weeks?
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.: posted by Vera
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Bugs
I got a cute email today after being spotted on my way to the laser clinic.
Subject: You were there
Since you bought your car, I've seen literally hundreds of yellow bugs on the roads, but never until this morning was there a bug in the driver's seat!! It made my day.
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.: posted by Vera
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On the bus
Two gray-bearded, toothless, white men get on at 8th and Brannan. They sit down next to each other. One of them is carrying a neon yellow plastic flute. The other one takes off his white-light gray-blue-patterned sweater. The first one says "That's the sweater we found, isn't it?" The other one looks down at the sweater and says "Yes. Yes, it is."
Two middle-aged black men get on at 8th and Mission. One of them is slurring. They sit down opposite each other. The one that is not slurring is eating a white chococlate Kit Kat bar. He offers the other man a piece. The other man takes it, says "What is this? Kit Kat?" and puts it in his mouth. It makes me smile. I love white chocolate Kit Kat.
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.: posted by Vera
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Enhancement request
Work, bus, building, sit, man, recognition, eyes, drops, cup, pill, swallow, water, m&m's, more drops, magazine, read, blurry, dizzy, fuzzy, warm, more drops, bathroom, mirror, pupils, huge, man, follow, sit, blue cap, measure, confusion, left only, not both, uneasy, close eyes, relax, almost asleep, man, "are you ready?", "yes", lie down, woman, trust, tape, clamp, red light, focus, snip, hurt, eyeball veins, swimmy, surface, circular, lose focus, small panic, rotation, back on, all okay, sit up, blue spots, walk slowly, shield, sun glasses, cab, home, pillows, sheets, sun, afternoon, comfy, sedated, lethargic, dream, sleep.
Can anybody tell what I did today?
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.: posted by Vera
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Optic nostalgia
God, I miss my glasses. This picture was taken about a week before I permanently ditched my glasses. I would like to wear them today, but I can't see with them anymore! Sometimes I really wish I could go back to being her. I liked her.
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.: posted by Vera
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Rhythm Man
Last night I put in a CD that I was listening to non-stop about two months ago and haven't listened to since. As soon as it started, a flood of rabid memories carried me off, mostly related to my Burning Man camp and campmates. I was reminded of Chuck and Rob and Alan and Diane and Sam and Cynthia and Diana and of the weekly Tuesday pre-playa meetings at Andrew's and of little tiny skirts and of my burgundy corduroy pants and of being mountain high on Monster while driving to the pre-playa party and of oh-so much hope that Burning Man was going to change my life.
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.: posted by Vera
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Changes
- I have been walking to work every day. No car, no bike.
- I have resolutely decided to stop the emotional torture I have been putting myself through for the last few months. I am finally letting go of something I should have let go of over six months ago. I am done. No more. I am feeling much better because of this.
- Since I am finally feeling better, I am withdrawing from caffeine this weekend.
- I am sick of going to all the same parties and seeing all the same people. On October 21 I am going to see PJ Harvey, one of the few non-electronic artists I am interested in. Thanks, Min Jung.
- I am considering doing some volunteer work as a social worker.
- BAH (Bay Area Hoopers) will soon be under new management. Philo and I have decided to take a break from organizing the weekly hooping get-togethers. BAH will still exist; we are just letting other BAH members be in charge of coordination for a while.
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.: posted by Vera
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Tonight at my women's group meeting I wrote something. Please don't laugh. The girls liked it. Writing it felt good. This is what I wrote:
It was a sad Tuesday
She went to the post office
An old man stared at her
He said "You are so pretty"
Tears came into her eyes
She went into her car
And let the tears run through her scar
Six years later and another sad Tuesday
She cries in her room while her roommates are out
There is a movement on her computer screen
Somebody sent her a video
The video is of her dancing
She can't help but smile
But she knows that it will be a while
Another day comes and goes
She remembers a song about a girl
A smell reminds her of a sad time in her past
She decides to wear her favorite sweater
The rain drops glisten in just the right way
It's all the little things
And then the phone rings
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.: posted by Vera
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Hooping video
At a party not too long ago somebody filmed me while I was hooping. I was not aware that I was being filmed at the time, but was told later that night.
Watch video (6MB)
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.: posted by Vera
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It's that month again
I vote for the Halloween colors to be officially changed to baby blue and pink. Black and orange is the picture of ugliness.
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.: posted by Vera
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